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We met Tim (He whose rib I previously defiled) and went out night swimming. A 9pm start we went off to the Sutton end of Dublin bay to jump into the sea of a spot of night swimming. Not the “drunk-fun-naked-night-swimming-of-youth”, more the “terrifying-middle-of-the-irish-sea-whatthefuckwasthat-night-swimming-of-madness.”
The team was in high spirits, apart from savagely cold feet from a bout of welly wearing. This was agreed by all to be a mistake. If it is a sunny day when we get to go (or more properly not a rainy night), runners will be in order.
All five of the team got in before me and looked confident, strong swimming by everyone. Those fuckers. There is really nothing like a strong display from your teammates to put it up to you. I stripped off 5 minutes before I was due to get in and even though it is a cliché, it really is warmer in the water than on the boat. I froze standing there in my tightie-greenies.
I hopped in the water, and started to swim. If any of you are planning this, here are Con’s-toptips© for a happy night swim:
Make sure no light is being shone at you. Tim was wearing a LED light and when he looked to see where I was (so he didn’t run me over, which I didn’t begrudge him for), I couldn’t see at all.
Shift your brain to neutral, when you start to think the demons come and they aren’t friendly. They have voices. They say things like “What the fuck was that?” and “Oh Christ, I hope nothing lives in the sea” and “Please don’t let me die”. Demons aren’t rational. I found one demon approximately once every ten minutes. Strong repetitive movement, an eye on the boat, and a mental calming exercise was enough to quieten them. They come back though, they are bastards like that.
Have a sign with your support person. I found the light in my eyes so arresting I am going to ask them to blind me with 5 minutes to go, and then 1 so I can slow down and let my relay partner pass.
You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it. If you do 30 minutes, an hour won’t be an issue.
Alcohol is not a banned substance in long distance swimming. Just saying, that’s all.
I got back into the boat after my 30 minutes and we went for a tourist trip down the Liffey. Being on a small craft in Dublin bay at night is spectacular, as is the trip past Poolbeg and down the Liffey. I really recommend anyone who has a chance to do this, to do it. Bring a camera, unlike this moron.
The night swimming really worked as a team building exercise. Everyone completed the task with good grace, there was good, friendly banter and every bit of training we do makes the channel look more achievable.
Nothing other than weather, or fiendish bad luck (external, not internal demons) will stop us now.
I’m officially stoked.
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